Synced Rifftrax Collection [DVD Rip] SUPER/MEGA THREAD [For fans of MST3K]

FkThRIAA01 · 08-21-2009, 09:50 PM

STAR WARS EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

RIFFED BY: MIKE NELSON, KEVIN MURPHY, CHAD VADER & BILL CORBETT (Released April 14, 2009)

Your favorite sand-phobic, midichlorian-rich super villain is back! And this time his capes are even more fabulous, his thigh-high Uggs resplendent like never before, and his burnt chicken head cloaked in the shiniest plastic helmet yet! And if that wasn't enough, Mike, Kevin and Bill are pleased to be joined by Darth Vader's bellicose but lovable brother Chad! Yes, the movie that gave us one of cinema's most startling revelations, and perhaps the most memorable silver screen quote ever ("I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me") gets the RiffTrax treatment.

Lots of laughs. Lots of Chad Vader. And no pod racing.

This RiffTrax uses the Special Edition version of the film. If you have it on DVD, you have the right version.

(Note: We were pleased to be joined in the writing and performing of this by Matt Sloan and Aaron Yonda, the mad geniuses who bring you Blame Society Productions.)

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FkThRIAA01 · 08-21-2009, 09:55 PM

Spiderman

RIFFED BY: MIKE NELSON, KEVIN MURPHY & BILL CORBETT (Released October 9, 2007)

When Peter Parker is bitten by one of Columbia University's many genetically engineered "super spiders" (now we know what they do with their 6 billion dollar endowment) instead of doing the sensible thing and dying, he transmogrifies into an arachnid, extruding fluids from his spinnerets, leaping about, swinging and twirling just like a spider.

But being a spider naturally puts him on the bad side of Norman Osborn, the charismatic head of OsCorp Industries who manages to find enough time in his day to moonlight as an evil goblin (played by real life evil goblin Willem Dafoe.)

He also finds it difficult to manage his relationship with the beautiful Mary Jane, because, well, he's a freakish wer-spider. His exoskeleton alone makes it literally impossible for him to come out of his shell until it's time to molt – and at that point he's too vulnerable for a relationship. It all makes for the most thrilling arthropod-on-human love and adventure tale ever told in the year 2002!

Joining Mike are Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett and several harvestmen that live in the corners of the studio. (Yes, we know that harvestmen are not spiders. And, no, theirs is not the most poisonous venom in the world – that's just a myth.)

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FkThRIAA01 · 08-24-2009, 06:06 PM

BY REQUEST

Terminator III

RIFFED BY: MIKE NELSON & KEVIN MURPHY (Released March 16, 2007)

Robots sent from the future into the past to kill people who will one day become important to the war against machines are like cockroaches – no matter how many of ‘em you kill, there’s always another, showing up one day naked in a little glowing ball of energy (the robots from the future, not cockroaches.

Well, to be clear, the cockroaches show up naked as well, but without the little glowing ball of energy.) The point is, humanity’s loss is our gain, as Terminator 3 offers another chance for Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger to show off his prodigious acting chops [i.e., his pecs].

Kristanna Loken co-stars as the ruthless Termanatrix, a superior model of robot with, I think you’ll agree, a superior bare backside, altogether less hairy, not nearly as Austrian, with smooth, clean lines and a… anyway, back to the synopsis.

Arnold must protect John Connor (Nick Stahl) not only from the Terminatrix, but also, because the kid is a supremely annoying presence, from all those who want to slap him, and that encompasses everyone who has ever met him.

Things get complicated when a whiny young irritant named Kate (Claire Danes) locks John into an unhygienic dog kennel and refuses to even worm him. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines is a big, dumb movie filled with big, dumb people. Kevin Murphy and Mike Nelson are two big, dumb guys who are just dumb enough to take it on!

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FkThRIAA01 · 08-24-2009, 06:09 PM

BY REQUEST

xXx

RIFFED BY: MIKE NELSON (Released September 6, 2006)

Vin Diesel, the Jean-Claude Van Damme of our time, stars as Xander Cage, an underground extreme sports star who apparently lost all his hair in a tragic skydiving accident.

The NSA shanghais Xander to help them bust up a dangerous group of anarchists – and what an amazingly well-organized and thorough group of anarchists they are – by using his skills at pulling the most extremely off da heezy-fo-sheezy stunts ever, bi-atch.

Samuel L. Jackson co-stars as Xander's cantankerous boss, made cantankerous, we can assume, by the fact that one side of his face is melted (the result, no doubt, of a mishap while he and his nutty friends were filming a Diet Coke and Mentos stunt for YouTube.)

The film is a perfect fit for Mike's RiffTrax style, what with his deep, deep roots in the underground sports community (once, when he was nine years old, he rode his bike right over a milk carton.)

*The RiffTrax for this film is compatible only with the Widescreen Special Edition DVD, and not the Blu-Ray or director's cut edition which features 8 extra minutes.

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FkThRIAA01 · 08-24-2009, 06:12 PM

BY REQUEST

Roadhouse

RIFFED BY: MIKE NELSON (Released July 21, 2006)

This is it – the best movie ever made about a world-famous bouncer and his epic struggle with the evil owner of the local J.C. Penney. Patrick Swayze is at his most shirtless as Dalton, a bouncer who is as comfortable quoting Zen aphorisms as he is kicking drunken men in the head.

The incomparable Sam Elliot is hilarious as Swayze's grizzled but lovable mentor, growling out lines like "I'll sleep when I'm dead," and running his weathered hand through his long, gray, greasy hair. And Kevin Tighe (of Lost) as the owner of the titular roadhouse delivers one of the strangest performances ever committed to film.

Road House is the comic mother lode and Mike takes advantage of every smashed beer bottle, throat kick, and monster car smash-up in his hilarious running commentary.

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FkThRIAA01 · 08-24-2009, 06:16 PM

BY REQUEST

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL

RIFFED BY: MIKE NELSON, KEVIN MURPHY & BILL CORBETT (Released September 9, 2008)

The most adorable pirates you've ever seen take to the high seas to do battle with an army of walking skeletons to see who is thinner. With a team consisting of Keira Knightley, Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom they can't possibly lose! Geoffrey Rush gives it his all -- that is he does his best impression of the pirate mascot standing outside the Long John Silver's at a strip mall in Oakbrook, Illinois, and respected actor Jonathan Pryce as the girlish British governor risks being stripped of the descriptive "respected".

Mike, Kevin and Bill strap on the cutlasses and swing away!

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FkThRIAA01 · 08-26-2009, 01:48 PM

BY REQUEST

THE DARK KNIGHT

RIFFED BY: MIKE NELSON, KEVIN MURPHY & BILL CORBETT (Released December 9, 2008)
DarkKnightWeb.jpg

If you can spare a minute, think back on the greatest work of cinema that you have ever seen. Did you think about The Dark Knight? No? Then you are a moron. Because while you were out doing whatever it is morons do...demolition derbies or...croquet, (we wouldn't know, we loved The Dark Knight), The Dark Knight pimp-slapped Andy Dufresne, spat in the Godfather's face and gave Charles Foster Kane a big ol' wedgie on its way to becoming the greatest movie of all time.

All this in spite of the bat suit causing our hero to grumble like the offspring of Tom Waits and Cookie Monster. There is nothing at all silly about that. We here at RiffTrax regret even having to point out that he sounds like your Great Aunt Vivian sending you out for her third pack of Pall Malls of the day. Because The Dark Knight is not just a superhero movie. It's a gritty crime drama about political corruption and the choices men make that just happens to involve a superhero. A superhero millionaire that dresses as a bat whose voice sounds like your cat heaving up a hairball into your slippers who battles a guy with half a face named Two-Face.

Despite all this, Mike, Kevin and Bill are ready to take on...(reverent pause)...The Greatest Movie of All Time.*

* Source: The Internet

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Lambda · 08-29-2009, 10:39 AM

Thanks!

Kihlstedt · 09-01-2009, 09:47 AM

Thanks that`s an awesome collection.

FkThRIAA01 · 09-02-2009, 10:42 PM

Eragon

RIFFED BY: MIKE NELSON, KEVIN MURPHY & BILL CORBETT (Released May 11, 2007)

Are you a fan of Star Wars but feel that there just weren't enough brain-stunningly idiotic names for your taste? Do you like the Lord of the Rings films but find they move too quickly and make too much sense?

Did you enjoy The Matrix but wish it could have contained a horrendously embarrassing performance by former actor/professional picnic ham John Malkovich? Then you need help! That is, then Eragon is the film for you!

Ostensibly about some punk who finds a dragon egg, Eragon is actually a poignant onscreen documentation of the decline of Jeremy Irons, whose eye bags, if there were any justice, would have received third billing. And it's also a showcase for first time actor - um- can't remember his name. Really made no impression one way or the other. (In fact, was he even in the film?)

But mostly it's an opportunity to watch John Malkovich turn in a performance that had to - HAD TO - be a direct challenge to the director, "Please, fire me.I'm begging you to fire me. I'll do a take like this and then you'll have to fire me. Wait,I'm still not fired?"

Kevin Murphy joins Mike in the RiffTrax International Studios (and Small Engine Repair) for Eragon, the blockbuster fantasy epic that forgets to be a blockbuster.

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